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NEW WORDS
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding or subtracting one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2003 winners:
1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3) Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4) Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5) Cashtrat! ion (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10) Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12) Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13) Glibido: All talk and no action.
14) Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15) Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16) Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17) Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the LITERature:
18) Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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