|
send feedback
CHURCHILL KILLED MY COUSIN
as much as anything else, this is true: winston churchill killed my cousin.
it works like this, when the doodle bugs were dropping over the channel and looping into london, winston ordered that each reported hit should be given as a few miles west of the actual strike. this way, german intelligence would compensate by aiming slightly further to the east.
this meant a good many V1 and V2 rockets landed in essex instead of on london, which is probably a good thing, because, mostly, essex was farms with a few people sprinkled all higgledypiggledy.
my great uncle had a farm in essex during the war. he didn't really mind doodle bugs landing in essex, except if they hit his farm, which they didn't. except one, which nearly did but just made a great big hole in the ground nearby and rattled the plates on the welsh dresser.
after the war it made a good pond and the cows used to wander down to it and drink there. they left hoof marks all around it in the mud, in the marshy essex mud their hooves used to sink quite deep. and the sun would come up and dry those little hoof holes until they were crispy like brown sugar around the edges of little hoof-shaped pools of water that would eventually dry up in the sun or fill up again if it rained.
and my four-year-old cousin (or second cousin or whatever it is) escaped the house and went down to the pond to see the cows. and, being four, he tripped and banged his head on the edge of a hoof hole and fell with his face in that little tiny puddle inside.
my cousin drowned in a tiny hoof-shaped puddle because winston churchill was trying to save london.
comment
|
|
