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TORTURED FRUIT RECIPE
just in case you thought i was the only one, here's evidence that someone else has discovered the nefarious pleasures of fruit torturing.
tortured tomatoes with bird droppings
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TORTURED FRUIT (5)
organic or not, this mango better start speaking pretty damn pronto.
yeah, it sure is a honey, but your succulence don't cut no sway here.
divvy up the griff boy, there's plenty more pegs where that came from.
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TORTURED FRUIT (4)
and you thought the orange was bad. look at how deformed this lemon has become.
although it still smells lemony and is a bit squidgy, it will soon dry out like its citric cousin.
a good baking in the hot sun will finish the grisly work - and then what a joy to behold!
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TORTURED FRUIT (3)
i know this isn't a fruit and it isn't really being tortured.
it is a potato that has been cut in half.
however, it does have its little pink heart showing.
oh the humanity.
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TORTURED FRUIT (2)
this is an avocado that has been halved and bound for god knows what evil purpose.
see how the stone is almost hanging from its little concave home.
see how the succulent flesh is marred by the tightness of the rope around its skin.
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TORTURED FRUIT
this is an orange that got tortured some years ago. it got kinda knobbly and dried.
there's a lemon that's doing the same thing right now.
i can't decide whether the new victim smells like lemony rubber or rubbery lemon.
anyway, this is the new craze of tortured fruit.
how symbolic is that?
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AVALANCHE
i stepped into an avalanche
it covered up my soul
when i am not this hunchback that you see
i sleep beneath the golden hill
you who wish to conquer pain
you must learn to serve me well
you strike my side by accident
as you go down to your goal
this cripple here that you clothe and feed
is neither starved nor cold
he does not ask for your company
not at the centre, the centre of the world
i who am on a pedestal
you did not raise me there
your laws do not compel me now
to kneel grotesque and bare
for i myself am the pedestal
for this ugly hump at which you stare
you who wish to conquer pain
you must learn what makes me kind
the crumbs of love that you offer me
are the crumbs i've left behind
your pain is no credential here
it's just a shadow of my wound
i have begun to ask for you
i who have no greed
i have begun to long for you
i who have no need
you say you've gone away from me
but i can feel you when you breathe
do not dress in those rags for me
i know you are not poor
and do not love me quite so fiercely now
when you know that you are not sure
it is your turn, my beloved one
it is your flesh that i wear
-- leonard cohen
abject and nihilistic
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NIGGERS AND TAIGUES
if a black person had been threatened from his position as captain of an international football team there would be a worldwide outcry at the barbarous nation that allowed this to happen.
neil lennon has been hounded from his job as captain of the northern ireland team because he is catholic and loyalist gunmen issued a death threat. neil has now quit all international football.
countries where this kind of thing happens really should be dragged into the 21st century. perhaps an international peace force from say, libya, north korea and iraq should be deployed in this barbarous region to clamp down on this kind of stuff for good.
fans cheer lennon
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KEYS TO HISTORY
although it is many years since they were driven from their homes, many palestinians retain the keys to their former houses, many of which are now flattened under the farms and new buildings of israeli settlers.
this is a display of the keys owned by one palestinian family, now living as refugees in jeddah.
perhaps their former home still stands, perhaps it doesn't. whichever, they are never likely to return.
this photograph was taken by an italian journalist at the time of the siege of the church of the nativity in bethlehem.
sabra & shatilah massacre
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COPS OF THE WORLD
come, get out of the way, boys
quick, get out of the way
you'd better watch what you say, boys
better watch what you say
we've rammed in your harbor and tied to your port
and our pistols are hungry and our tempers are short
so bring your daughters around to the port
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
we pick and choose as please, boys
pick and choose as please
you'd best get down on your knees, boys
best get down on your knees
we're hairy and horny and ready to shack
we don't care if you're yellow or black
just take off your clothes and lie down on your back
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
our boots are needing a shine, boys
boots are needing a shine
but our coca-cola is fine, boys
coca-cola is fine
we've got to protect all our citizens fair
so we'll send a battalion for everyone there
and maybe we'll leave in a couple of years
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
dump the reds in a pile, boys
dump the reds in a pile
you'd better wipe of that smile, boys
better wipe off that smile
we'll spit through the streets of the cities we wreck
we'll find you a leader that you can't elect
those treaties we signed were a pain in the neck
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
clean the johns with a rag, boys
clean the johns with a rag
if you like you can use your flag, boys
if you like you can use your flag
we've got too much money we're looking for toys
and guns will be guns and boys will be boys
but we'll gladly pay for all we destroy
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
please stay off of the grass, boys
please stay off of the grass
here's a kick in the ass, boys
here's a kick in the ass
we'll smash down your doors, we don't bother to knock
we've done it before, so why all the shock?
we're the biggest and toughest kids on the block
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
when we butchered your son, boys
when we butchered your son
have a stick of our gum, boys
have a stick of our bubble-gum
we own half the world, oh say can you see
the name for our profits is democracy
so, like it or not, you will have to be free
'cause we're the cops of the world, boys
we're the cops of the world
-- phil ochs, gone but still needed
phil ochs lyrics
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THE MONOCHROME SET
i fascinate, infatuate
emphatically
you're dreary, you're base, deary
your face is weary for me
i'm heaven sent, so eloquent
and curiously
i entertain your tiny brain
so spuriously
the monochrome set,
monochrome set,
monochrome set
i'm charming, dear, disarming dear
you're funny, you're dead horny
but you're always money to me
my rhetoric, so magnetic
aesthetically
i'll nominate you abominate
and dissipate me
(chorus)
i captivate, enraptivate
emphatically
you're lazy, you're limp, baby
your mind is crazy to me
i'm adorable, you're deplorable
it's not a lotta fun
it's gruesome that we're a twosome
so hey hey hey here we come
-- the monochrome set
strange boutique
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OH MY GOD
here are some links that prove that god exists.
they also prove that god does his maths in base 10, uses arabic numerals and speaks english, and is, of course a christian.
what? and you all thought the british empire was a bad thing?
quod erat demonstrandum.
God Exists
God Exists
God Exists
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BLESSING OF A SAINT
now i don't often boast but this i can't help - here's my own personal blessing from Shree Swami Satyanand Ji Maharaj.
quite simply, how cool is that? like, i mean, that's honourable, yes?
after some nice personal things He says "may god bless you all"
swami satyanand
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AMERICAN IDIOT
poet william carlos williams spent most of his artistic life searching for the american idiom.
perhaps it was a miss-spelling and he was looking for george dubya bush.
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ah love
the true passion
crowned in hope
clothed in lust
shod in despair
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today's handkerchief is:
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